i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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