Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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