my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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