i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
