I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
