Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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