am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
