i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
