She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
