I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
