i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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