Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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