I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She even gives head with a lisp.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Watching her eat just hurts me
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
