It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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