I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
