My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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