its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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