2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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