Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
