just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
