my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
