if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
