Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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