Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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