Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
