just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
