There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
