if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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