This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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