Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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