my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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