Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We need to rekindle our bromance
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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