Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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