great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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