WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Did I show you my penis last night?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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