Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
