When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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