We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I still have a little drunk in my system
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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