Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize
