my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think my moral compass just broke
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
