I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
