dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
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