I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
