the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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