He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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