so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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