she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
