i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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