there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
