Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
